~Myself~

I’m drowning in my own facades

At my own expense, I keep up the pretence

The mere words I hear my mouth speak

Irks me to the point of regurgitation

I detest myself for being subdued

I disappoint myself for caring

It riles me when I hear him speak

Emotions, reassurance, he is weak

The undesirable crave has washed itself away

The mysterious ways which held me intact

Has suddenly lost its appeal

I am straying away, I feel myself give way

The pieces of the wall has eroded

It has cause pieces of me to weaken

It has not lost its strength,

just it’s hope to ever love another

I don’t want to fight, I don’t want to talk

I don’t want to think, I don’t want to hurt

I don’t want to think for you, I don’t want to think for two

I want to love myself, live for myself, reasons and purpose I chose for myself

I don’t want to dream, I want to stay in my black hole

The hole I built comfort in over the years

I want to reach my goals, and give my family a home

I want to live with myself and by myself

I want my heart, I want my time, I want my love….

I just want me…..

C.C 09′